Random little oneshots and drabbles
by abbyness
Summary: Just a collection of oneshots and drabbles, most of which will be centered around BnB. Sorry had to change the rating because I am paranoid. My first fanfiction ever! Give it a try.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer:

Do Bones and Booth belong to me?

No they don't, no they don't,

Do Ange and Hodgins belong to me?

No they don't, no they don't,

Do Cam and Sweets belong to me?

No they don't, no they don't,

Does _anything_ on Bones belong to me?

No it doesn't, no it doesn't.

Random little one shots

Hellooooo you wonderful people out there ( yes I am sucking up to you guys so you will review my story). So this is my first fanfiction ever. Hope you like it! If I get enough hits then I will just keep posting random little unconnected one shots and drabbles because I a BIG fan of unadulterated BnB lovin'. I am also planning a long story and I will post the first chapter soon, just wanted to put a few short things out there before getting started with a big project. Like every other author I would love reviews and constructive criticism is always welcome.

LOVE

ABBY :)

* * *

"Hey Bones"

"Yeah." She replied sleepily, raising her head from its position resting against the window of the SUV.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course you can Booth, you don't need my permission for that. Besides you already did."

"Yeah, well I realised that I have known for so long that I know all your likes and dislikes but I don't know one thing."

"Do you prefer chocolate sprinkles or rainbow sprinkles on your ice cream?"

"You woke me up during a long drawn, unstimulating drive across five states to ask me about my preference in sprinkles?" she asked in disbelief.

"Yes."

"How does knowing this help you?"

"oh you know just collecting data."

"Data is collected either during problem solving or during the testing of a hypothesis. Are you insinuating that I am a problem or an experiment?"

"No Bones! Its just…" he fell silent.

"What Booth?"

"Knowing every little thing about you makes me happy. They may seem insignificant to people but to me these little nibblets about you are the most important thing in the world. So I want as much as I can get."

She opened her mouth to make a confused reply about not understanding what he meant but stopped short when she saw the look in his eyes, and once again Dr. Temperance Brennan and Special Agent Seeley Booth communicated the equivalent of a thousand words in just one look. They didn't have to say anything because they understood each other. They held each others gaze until Booth had to look at the road again.

"Thank you Booth"

"Thank _you_, Bones"

The rest of the drive was completed in silence.

* * *

Okay so I just wanted to do a little shameless advertising for my long story. I will tell you that it will be FLUFFY. I write FLUFFY in capital letters for a reason. It will be FLUFFY, I shall not be held responsible for XXXL sized dentists' bills arising after it is read. The plot will seem like something out of a B- grade movie. I assure you that I will try to make it as fun as possible. I don't want to give away what I think is the greatest surprise in the story so I am not saying any thing about about what actually happens, but there will be no nonsense about Booth having cell phone skanks for girlfriends, that qualifies as angst in my world and I don't do angst. If you read just the first chapter you will understand what its about. And now I know you are thinking: Well her AN is longer than her actual story, so I will shut up now.

Toodles

P.S. I have no beta so all mistakes I make are mine and mine alone.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

* * *

"Here's the reconstruction you wanted sweetie."

"Thanks Angela."

"Bren?"

"Yes."

"Why have you been wearing turquoise every day of the week? Turquoise blouse, turquoise earrings shoes, today a turquoise dress, I am afraid you're gonna wear shiny turquoise pants next."

"You noticed?"

"Sweetie, I LIVE for pretty clothes and I do notice such things, especially on you."

"Booth said I look exceptionally beautiful whenever I wear turquoise so…" the rest of her words were drowned out by the noise inside Angela's head that was emanating from the lets-get-Booth-and-Bren-together-and-have-them-make-cute-babies part of her cerebrum which was reactivating at the mention of the words Booth, beautiful and turquoise in the same sentence by Brennan.

"Angela! Are you listening to me?"

"Soooo, you've been wearing turquoise everyday to woo Booth?"

"No Angela why would you think that? I told you; he made an observation, I accepted it as true and that's it."

"That's why you wear turquoise _everyday_ now." Angela said with a smug look on her face.

"Its not wrong to want to look attractive."

"To Booth."

"We are just partners Angela."

"You keep telling yourself that Hon."

With that and a smirk on her face she left the room.


	3. Chapter 3

Discalimer: See chapter1

* * *

"Camille!"

"Seeley! Long time no see!"

"Yeah, I've been busy you know…..with Bones… and cases of course…Yeah Bones and cases."

"Yes of course, would you be able to spare some of that precious time of yours to have a drink this evening with an old friend?"

"Sure, why not?"

Later while entering the bar…

Booth trips on a stool and bumps into Cam.

"Whoops! Sorry Cam."

"No problem I am fine"

A while later with drinks…

"You smell like Dr. Brennan, Booth."

"What? No!"

"Mmmmhmmm, its unmistakeable. I work with her every day, plus we all have to wear strong perfume to keep the smell of death away. No amount of expensive equipment completely masks that. So, call me weird but I know what she smells like. And you smell exactly like her."

"I can explain!"

"I'm not your mother Seeley, you don't have to explain anything." Cam replied smiling inwardly at how uncomfortable Booth was becoming.

"But its not what you think it is! I stayed over at Brennan's place last night and Wait! Hear me out before you start laughing! It wasn't like that it was just a long day and I fell asleep on her couch So she washed my clothes for me and I used her soap to take a bath!"

"So she undressed you and washed your clothes while you were asleep?"

"NO!"

"So you fell asleep on her couch with your clothes off?"

"NO!"

Cam was enjoying the evening more and more with each passing second.

"And you used her perfume along with her soap?"

"NO!"

"You make a VERY convincing argument Seeley."


	4. Chapter 4

Doscalimer: See chapter 1

* * *

"Oh Bones."

A long drawn moan was heard coming from Dr. Brennan's office. The source of the sound seemed to be male. Clark Edison happened to be walking towards the office at that inopportune moment. He wondered for the millionth time why people in the Jeffersonian Medico legal lab just couldn't keep their complex personal lives outside its walls.

"Mmmmmm, Booth."

This time the voice was feminine. Clark couldn't believe it, he would never have admitted it but even he was curious to know what went on between those two. He hated being used in their arguments but no one could who worked at the Jeffersonian could resist being a part of the lets-watch-Booth-and-Brennan-with -popcorn-buckets club.

"This is great."

"Oh yeah it is."

The voices, female and male respectively, were slightly breathy. Apart from this there were timely little groans that were coming from the room where the blinds covered the otherwise see through glass walls.

"I wonder why we never tried this before, Booth?"

"I guess we just never thought about it . But the idea popped in my head today when I saw you all wound up and here we are."

"We are most definitely trying this again. It's the perfect way to relax after a long day."

"I hear ya Bones, I hear ya."

Why me? Asked Clark, yes, he was intrigued but he did not want to be the one to break the news to the lab and heaven knew that he would NOT be able to keep this sort of information to himself. Word would spread like wildfire about this little incident and every one would know he was the one who had started it. Then Dr. Brennan would find out and he would be fired from the best job he had ever had. Great, just great. All because Booth and Brennan were so hot for each other they couldn't make it to either of their homes.

"What are you doing Clark Edison?"

The sound of Angela's voice made him jump, he tripped on the potted fern in front of him and stumbled right through door, which as he now realized was not even completely closed but slightly ajar. He closed his eyes and hoped he wouldn't see anything wildly inappropriate.

"What are you two doing?" Angela asked in a confused tone.

Clark slowly opened his eyes and was shocked. Booth and Brennan were sitting on the floor, both with their legs crossed, facing each other, knees touching, fully clothed. Brennan's hands were on Booth's shoulders and Booth's were on Brennan's.

"We were giving each other shoulder massages Angela. Booth wanted to give me one because I was tired and I offered to return the favor."

Angela started laughing and Clark Edison heaved a sigh of relief.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

* * *

"Booth! I have reached the end of my tether! One more minute of this childish nonsense and believe you me, your remains will be so compromised, not even I would be able to identify them!"

"32 bottles of beer on the wall, 32 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around….." and he continued the song in a deep, slow, somber tune as if it were an elegy.

Brennan thought her head would explode if she had to listen to it for one more moment. She was in a terrible mood. Booth wasn't agreeing to letting her drive back home from the case and she was annoyed, so she stole his keys while he was asleep and got into the driver's seat while he was looking for them. He got angry and demanded that she get out of the driver's seat and go back to the grandma seat. She told him very rudely that she did not appreciate his alpha male, sexist behavior and would not do so. Since she refused to budge, Booth got into the passenger's seat and refused to talk to her; she thought she had won. Booth had other plans. He took it upon himself to irritate Brennan to death, if that were possible, by singing children's songs in a variety of different tones. So far he had sung one about some female coming around a mountain (she had no idea who this was but it seemed as if she had amazing horse riding abilities); I can go the distance, which he said was from Hercules (she had informed him very seriously that there were no such songs in Greek mythology); If you're happy and you know it (she did not see how this would be of any educational importance) and now he was singing songs about beer bottles. She had been driving for five hours straight and it was at least another five to DC. Her eyes were burning, her head was throbbing, her shoulders ached and her bladder was about to give way plus the car was almost out of gas. She refused to stop because she knew that Booth would take the keys from her, but she wouldn't be able to hold on for much longer.

"25 bottles of beer on the wall"

"I think we should take a restroom break now."

"Thank God Bones I wasn't going to be able to go on for much longer and my throat feels like sawdust from all that singing."

"I didn't ask you sing"

"Yeah well I am just glad we're stopping, in fact I am so happy I want to sing you just one more song." He said as she pulled into a gas station.

"Please Booth"

"I love you, you love me, we're best friends like friends should be, with a great big hug," he pulled her into an awkward hug over the console "and a kiss from me to you," he kissed her cheek "won't you say you love me too." Puppy dog eyes.

Brennan was flabbergasted; she sat there with her jaw open for a few moments and then managed to gather some of her scattered wits.

" I love you Booth."

"That's great" and he kissed her smack on lips. She was momentarily stunned, but just as she began to respond; Booth broke the kiss and jumped out of the car.

"I love you too Bones and I will prove it to you as soon as I use the bathroom." And he ran.

Brennan smiled a goofy little smile to herself, and that is when she realized that he had taken the keys with him.

* * *

A review or two would be nice :)


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

AN: Okay so I know that this is way OOC for Brennan and she wouldn't know such colloquialisms and moreover never use them beacuse she thinks they are derogatory, but you know what? This is my fanfic and I have artistic license; or whatever its called. Hope you enjoy it, thats the objective :)

* * *

"Oh but it was _my_ fault snookum," whined Brennan in a repenting tone and with a huge pout.

"Oh no sugar bunny, you don't get to take the blame at all. It was _my_ fault; _I_ should have checked whether the tap was off before we left for our fifth honeymoon." Booth replied in a tone one normally reserves for an adorable toddler.

"But baby, I was careless!" replied Brennan in a horrified tone which suggested she had run someone over with her car.

"Awwwwwww honey bunch, don't make those big doe eyes at me, come on. It _was not_ your fault. Now come here, let me give you a wittle kissy and make it all better. Boothy will use his carpentering skills and with a little help from wifey, the floor with be as good as new in no time."

"Oh snuggle bear, you always know how to make it _all better_," purred Brennan seductively.

Sweets was going to be sick. Sweets' head was going to explode. Sweets did not know what in the name of sweet Jesus was going on. It had all started with today's role playing assignment. Sweets had never so grossly miscalculated the reaction of any of his patients in his short but brilliant career. He had expected some groans and threats on his life from Booth and a disapproving look along with a defeated agreement from Dr. Brennan when he told them they had to act as husband and wife. He had told them that they would pretend to be a married couple sorting out an issue between them in a mature way so that they could learn how to work through their issues as partners in real life, calmly, instead of constantly biting each other's heads off. He told them their partnership was similar to a marriage, give and take, an equal amount of compromise from each side (the little evil Sweets inside him said that it would be hilarious to see their reactions when he said this, after all, they _were_ married, they just didn't know it yet). He expected an argument from Dr. Brennan about how marriage was created to give men power over women and how it wasn't about women having equal rights. Instead all he got was a "Lets do this Booth," from her and a "Sure thing Bones," from him.

And then they started. Oh, the sheer horror and the sheer delight he felt at seeing them like this, like two pre-adolescents who are each other's first crushes. Like a B-grade chick flick; but for all the cheesy nicknames and fake apologies, he could see that there was something real there.

"Oh you better watch out, you're being a bad little girl, using that tone with me. I will eat you up if you continue."

Sweets felt he was too young for scenes like this and that he should avert his eyes. Brennan made a mewling sound; Sweets nearly choked on his own saliva, he really felt like running out before things got ugly.

It was like they simultaneously jumped on each other and started making out. Sweets' eye popped out and rolled on the ground and his jaw dropped so low it hit the underground water table.

"And that Sweets is how the grown-ups solve an argument." Booth said with a smile, having unstuck himself from Dr. Brennan.

They walked out of his office, once again, having settled the session on their own terms.

* * *

Did it make you puke? I came pretty darn close after writing it but I have to study anatomy and I am in a hurry. Will get down to starting the long story soon. If you like my writing, and would actually want to read it please tell me. I dont want to start unless I know people like my stories because I am hard pressed for time and I want to be sure before I commit to a multi chapter fic.

xoxoxoxox

Abby

They walked out of his office, once again, having settled the session on their own terms.


End file.
